As runners, we like to talk about our passion, right? And inevitably we have to deal with people who don’t support our running habit. What runner hasn’t had someone tell them that “Running will ruin your knees” or ask, “Why would you run a race when you know you won’t win?”? It can be a real motivation crusher when you have to deal with unsupportive and critical people like that, especially when they happen to be members of your own family or a close friend.
So what’s the best way to deal with people who offer unsolicited (and often incorrect) advice or negative feedback about running? Or make uniformed or ignorant comments about running that are just plain irritating? Here are three types of naysayers or unsupportive family, friends, or strangers who you’ll encounter and strategies for dealing with them:
1. Nosy people who know everything
These are the critics who want to tell you everything that’s wrong about running and why you shouldn’t do it. They like to share stories about runners who got hit by a car or injured themselves during training. Or, they’ll just go on and on about the many reasons why they hate to run.
I usually don’t waste too much time trying to sell running to these people because they often think they’re right and they won’t change their minds. Rather than waste my time listening to them explain why they hate running, I just nod my head or just make some comment like, “Running has been good to me so far!” and then quickly try to change the subject. Life’s too short to listen to people criticize something you love!
2. Loved ones who worry about you
These people are usually genuinely concerned about your welfare. They’re misinformed and think that running will lead to arthritis or other issues, or that you’ll keel over during a marathon. Because their intentions are good, I’ll briefly talk about the health benefits – both physical and mental – that I’ve experienced, such as stress relief, improved sleep and excellent cardiovascular health. Then I reassure them that I’ve spoken to my doctor or read studies that have disputed their exact concern.
3. Jealous or insecure people
Sometimes the most difficult naysayers are those who are jealous or intimidated. They’re often people who are very close to you and worried that your relationship may change because of your running habit. One of the best ways to deal with them is to try to convince them to join you. Even if you can’t get them to start running, your enthusiasm may encourage them to exercise or find a new hobby that ignites their passion.
Another good strategy is to spend some quality time with them so they are reassured that you’re not going to become so consumed with running that you neglect your friend and family members.
As a result of a loved one’s negative attitude towards your running, you may feel yourself start to feel guilty about running. Try not to let those feelings interfere with your running habit. Any time I start to feel selfish about my running habit, I remind myself that running makes me a better person, gives me more energy and helps me stay both mentally and physically healthy, so that makes me feel stronger in dealing with any criticism or negativity about my running.
Running coach, avid runner, and fitness writer Christine Luff is an RRCA-certified running coach and ACE-certified personal trainer. Founder of the website Run for Good and author of the book Run for Good: How to Create a Lifelong Running Habit, she coaches runners, from beginners to advanced, who are training for races, from 5Ks to marathons.
