Funny Running Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

Who doesn’t love a good joke or funny quote about running? Runners love laughing at themselves, right? Get some laughs from these funny running quotes, inspired by spectator signs, runners’ T-shirts, and running memes. If you hit a rough patch during your training or a race, use some running humor to lighten the mood and help you keep moving.

1. “Running is a like a cup of coffee…I’m much nicer after I’ve had one.”

2. “Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy guy behind you.”
-seen on marathon spectator sign

3. “Running won’t solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework.”

4. “In the first half of the race, don’t be an idiot. In the second half, don’t be a wimp!”
-Scott Douglas, on running marathons

5. “Smile! Remember, you paid to do this!”
-seen on marathon spectator sign

6. “Runners don’t die. They only smell like it.”
-seen on marathon spectator sign

7. “Running an hour a day adds 10 years to your life. Unfortunately, you spend it running.”
-unknown

8. “I didn’t train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can.”
-John Bingham, running writer, on running marathons

9. “If found on ground, drag to finish line.”
-seen on racer’s T-shirt

10. “Please ignore the faces I make while running.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt

11. “It’s rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud.”
-Adidas

12. “Running: Cheaper than therapy.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt

13. “If you’ve never had a bad day running, you’re probably doing something wrong. If you’ve never had a good day running, you’re definitely doing something wrong.”
– Mark Remy, author of Runners of North America

14. “I run because punching people is frowned upon.”
-seen on a T-shirt

15. “For someone who runs all the time, I still have the ability to make it look like it’s the first time I’ve ever tried it.”

16. “Slow runners make fast runners look good. You’re welcome.”
-seen on a T-shirt

17. “If you see me running, you better run too because something is chasing me.”

18. “Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.”
-Barney Stinson (in How I Met Your Mother)

19. “I’m only doing this so I can post about it on Facebook.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt

20. “Any idiot can run, but it takes a special kind of idiot to run a marathon.”

21. “Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt

22. “Marathoners: Life is too easy. I must find a way to make it much much harder.”
-Glennon Doyle, best-selling author

23. “I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.”
– Ryan Reynolds, actor

24. “How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
– Jimmy Fallon

25. “If you think life goes by pretty fast, you’ve never been on a treadmill.”

26. Run slow, get the most out of your entry fee.”
-seen on a spectator sign

27. “The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.”
– Franklin P. Jones

28. “If you’re on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes, we are racing.”

29. “Running is like coffee: a little bit of it every day keeps me from killing people.”

30. “Running is a mental sport, and we’re all insane.”

31. “My doctor told me that running could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”
– Milton Berle

32. “No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes.”
–Don Kardong

33. “1% of the population will run a marathon in their lifetime. It’s their obligation to talk about it so the other 99% know what they’re missing.”

Save these funny running quotes for those days when you need a quick reminder about the fun and joy in running. And share them with your running buddies who can truly appreciate the unique bonds and quirks that runners share. need it most.

More Running Quotes and Running Humor

Running coach, avid runner, and fitness writer Christine Luff is an RRCA-certified running coach and ACE-certified personal trainer. Founder of the website Run for Good and author of the book Run for Good: How to Create a Lifelong Running Habit, she coaches runners, from beginners to advanced, who are training for races, from 5Ks to marathons.