Staying motivated to work out isn’t always easy. Some days you’re a beast at the gym, and other days your workout outfit gets more action on the couch than on the treadmill. Whether you’re a gym newbie, a seasoned athlete, or just in it for the post-workout smoothie, these funny workout quotes will keep your spirits high and your excuses low.
1. “Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!“
2. “I go to the gym because I think my great personality deserves a hot body.”
3. “I’m not sweating — I’m sparkling with regret.”
4. “If you still look cute after your workout, you didn’t work hard enough.”
5. “The only running I do is running late.”
6. “Does running out of patience count as cardio?”
7. “The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I’m like ‘What are you doing here? You’re done.’”
–Jim Gaffigan
8. “I work out because punching people is frowned upon.”
9. “I’m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.”
10. “Pain is temporary. Quads are forever.”
11. “The hardest part of going to the gym is actually going to the gym.”
12. “I lift tacos to my mouth — that counts as upper body, right?”
13. “It’s called working out because you’re constantly figuring out why you agreed to this.”
14. “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch — I call it lunch.”
15. “I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.”
-Ellen DeGeneres
16. “You can’t spell challenge without change — but you can spell cheesecake without either, so choose wisely.”
17. “Running? Oh, you mean jogging aggressively away from responsibilities.”
18. “I don’t sweat — I leak awesome.”
19. “Squats: because somewhere, someone is watching you try on jeans.”
20. “My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.”
–Milton Berle
21. “Burpees are basically a punishment disguised as exercise.”
22. “Every time I say I’m going to ‘just do 20 minutes,’ I end up doing exactly 20 minutes.”
23. “Abs are great, but have you tried tacos?”
24. “If only sarcasm burned calories, I’d be unstoppable.”
25. “They say, ‘no pain, no gain.’ I say, ‘no nap, no happiness.’”
26. “I go to the gym to release stress — and by stress, I mean frustration about going to the gym.”
27. “Some people lift weights. I lift my mood by avoiding them.”
28. “Exercise is like telling your body, ‘You’re gonna hate me for this, but you’ll thank me later.’ Spoiler: it never thanks me.”
29. “I’m not lazy — I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
30. “I work out because I love my body. Also because I love dessert.”
31. “I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training.”
32. “My warm-up is mostly convincing myself that I want to do this.”
33. “Exercise gives you energy but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.”
34. “I’m sorry for what I said during burpees.”
35. “I only work out because I really, really like donuts.”
36. “My favorite exercise at the gym would probably be judging.”
37. “Taking off a sweaty sports bra should count as resistance training.”
More Workout Humor
Running coach, avid runner, and fitness writer Christine Luff is an RRCA-certified running coach and ACE-certified personal trainer. Founder of the website Run for Good and author of the book Run for Good: How to Create a Lifelong Running Habit, she coaches runners, from beginners to advanced, who are training for races, from 5Ks to marathons.
