Funny Running Quotes


Who doesn’t love a good joke or funny quote about running? Runners love laughing at themselves, right? Get some laughs from these funny running quotes, inspired by spectator signs, runners’ T-shirts, and running memes.

“Running is a like a cup of coffee…I’m much nicer after I’ve had one.”

“Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy guy behind you.”
-seen on marathon spectator sign

“Running won’t solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework.”

“In the first half of the race, don’t be an idiot. In the second half, don’t be a wimp!”
-Scott Douglas, on running marathons

“Smile!  Remember, you paid to do this!”
-seen on marathon spectator sign


“Runners don’t die. They only smell like it.”
-seen on marathon spectator sign

“I didn’t train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can.”
-John Bingham, running writer, on running marathons

“If found on ground, drag to finish line.”
-seen on racer’s T-shirt


“Please ignore the faces I make while running.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt

“It’s rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud.”

“Running: Cheaper than therapy.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt

“If you’ve never had a bad day running, you’re probably doing something wrong. If you’ve never had a good day running, you’re definitely doing something wrong.”
– Mark Remy, author of Runners of North America

“I run because punching people is frowned upon.”
-seen on a T-shirt

“For someone who runs all the time, I still have the ability to make it look like it’s the first time I’ve ever tried it.”

“Slow runners make fast runners look good. You’re welcome.”
-seen on a T-shirt

“If you see me running, you better run too because something is chasing me.”

“Step one to running a marathon: You run. There is no step two.”
-Barney Stinson (in How I Met Your Mother)

“I’m only doing this so I can post about it on Facebook.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt

“Any idiot can run, but it takes a special kind of idiot to run a marathon.”

“Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people.”
-seen on runner’s T-shirt

“I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples.”
– Ryan Reynolds, actor

“If you think life goes by pretty fast, you’ve never been on a treadmill.”


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